Impact of the Holiday Season on Individuals
Steering Committee
November 18, 2021
The month of November marks the beginning of the holiday season! While the holidays can be a time of hope, joy, and promise, for many the holidays are a time of sorrow, stress, and anxiety. It is an important time to check in with individuals to determine how they are faring. This year, the holidays will be a pivotal time as the anticipation of seeing relatives we may not have seen in the last two years, due to the pandemic, may be possible while there may be many families who will be grieving their loved ones lost during this time. It will be more important than ever to check in with students, teachers, and other staff and do our best to anticipate their needs.
If you have students who lost loved ones during the pandemic, and it is highly likely, since it is estimated that for every Covid-19 related death, two children and four grandchildren are bereaved1. While many of us are familiar with the commonly known stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is important to remember that grief may look a little different in children, depending on their age, development, and support system. It is also important to remember that while the stages of grief are helpful to know, they are not set in stone and do not happen in a specific order. While it is important to know what to look for, it is also important to understand that we all experience grief differently, and that the manifestation of grief will look different on each person. You may see that students are scared, confused, anxious, numb, and everything in-between.
Responses You May Be Seeing
- Regression in behavior
- You may see a typically well-behaved student, start getting in trouble by pushing others or being disruptive; or a student who typically excels academically begins to struggle with grades; or a student who used to be very involved in school activities begins to withdraw.
- While it is difficult to see regressive behaviors, it is important to allow grieving students some leniency to allow them to work through their grief while supporting them to return to their previous levels of functioning.
- Separation anxiety/clinginess
- You may see a student who has a hard time separating from their parents in the morning, they may not want to come into the school or classroom.
- It is important to help students feel safe in their new environment by establishing boundaries and establishing routines that will help students know they can count on you for support.
- Apathy or withdrawal
- You may see a student who typically may have been gregarious, withdraw from others or activities they normally would have been involved in.
- While it is important to allow individuals some time to adapt, it is especially important to communicate with students directly and let them know you care and are there for them, while keeping a close eye for signs of anxiety and depression and get them professional help, if needed, as soon as possible.
- Physical ailments and sleep/appetite disturbances
- We know that common stressors can manifest in our bodies and so can grief, these can be things like frequent stomach aches or headaches.
- It is important to let the student know you are available to support them and communicate with their caregiver so that help is sought if these ailments begin to disrupt the student’s ability to have success at school.
- Guilt
- Guilt is common with anyone experiencing grief and loss and children are not exempt from this feeling.
- The most important thing to remember is to remind and reassure the student that they are not responsible for the event they are grieving. We may need to remind our students repeatedly depending on their age and their process of grieving.
- Interest in death
- You may see a student who becomes extremely interested in death/dying and may ask questions repeatedly.
- It is important to help answer some of the questions that students may have as they are trying to understand the drastically different world they are experiencing after losing a loved one.
- Risk-taking and aggression
- This is especially true for older students, you may see students partaking in alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs; being physically aggressive with others; or might start self-harming.
- It is extremely important to seek professional assistance for any student who may be struggling with these issues.
It is important to normalize grief for all students as we will all face the death of a loved one at some point in our life. It is imperative to support students and families as they grieve and assist them in seeking professional assistance, if needed, but more significantly it is vital that students feel cared for and supported by all the important adults in their life.
One last thing I would like to mention, that may add to the stress level of the season, is that recently the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that the Inland Empire (Riverside and San Bernardino counties combined) currently has an inflation rate that is four times higher than it was at this time last year – the highest rate of inflation in the nation! This means that things like housing, gas, natural gas, electricity, and food are up in cost by 6.8%. I am sure we have all felt the pain of rising gas prices at the pump! Our families have been feeling the housing crunch since before the pandemic, but the pandemic made finding affordable housing nearly impossible in many of our service areas. The rising cost of essential items, along with housing, may be what puts some of our families at risk of, or causes them, to become unhoused. It is imperative that we use all our resources to best meet the needs of families who need help
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